why.

are the smallest things to do so hard.
but the biggest things to do are so easy...
God i need help.
thank you










amen.

i FOUND it

askflakjfaadf
it was under my keyboard the whole time.
good hiding place(= HAHA

afdgafdg

adfgsdasadfa

To Steve!

hello Steve, we are hacking your blogger right now. your currently at the kitchen cooking us some food
hehe and KRYSTAL JUST RAIDED YOUR ROOM! HAHAHA
but you won't notice and we are looking at your baby pictures.
you look UGLYYYY(:
&&&&&&& we left you a note somewhere hidden on your desk!
go find it and write back okay!(:

From Krystal&Sophia<33333333

i like *****
i need to get that off my mind
today was good.
tomorrow will be better.
(=

even words can make a difference in your lives.

Don't go against your feelings, instead express it. - i

Originality is the art of concealing your source. - Franklin P. Jones

Love: Two minds without a single thought. - Philip Barry

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.

Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.

theres always a greater world around you.

what's the deal

with so many druggies these days
some banger ask me if i wanted pills or weed... today at school
LOL that was so funny though
But know that drugs will fuck you up. so stop

just remember COLLEGE or WEEEEEED HAHAHAHA

First start of school.

pretty good. i didn't think it would go better than this. just meet old friends&teachers. WALKing friends! haha. UH. yeee all the good stuff. all my teachers are chill except zylstra dang. i might just get a B instead of a A-_____-x
i need to try hard.
if i get all A and one B i get a Mac book!
im so gonna try hard.
and license on october? yessss!

so today, i hung out with school buddys i haven't chilled in summer
went down to H mart played ALOT.
met JUNE(=
and then they all ditched me HAHA
then i hung out with Kcee Jimmy and Tj and isabella eugenia and candy. Funn!
it was all chill today.

i want to soon have a passion for something HUGE.

Webcam.

finally got one. the price tag said it was 30 bucks
but when i got to the counter it was 79.99 and i was like oh shit.
but my madre bought it for me.
Thanks momm!

oovoo with me yeah?
Steviesaurus
and schools tomorrow! ohh yessss*

Back to School.

i think i'm like the only one who is looking forward to school. i wonder why. HMM if i think about i get to see all my friends i haven't seen all summer long. new friends. SENIOR i get to boss people! UH. i sorta miss school food hahaha hey! it's pretty delicious. i get to meet people i never met in my grade. UH. really i prolly don't know half people in my grade i think... hah! i mean like getting to know them better. i get to STUDY everyday!, even meet chill teachers during the school year. and perform in rallys. and i miss just going to school daily. i think without school all the fun stuff would be boring.
and new school year, means change.
change meaning for the better.
i know everyone has flaws and a new school year means a chance for you to change and fix it.

i like how everyone during the last day gets ready for school. i aready got ready last week ago.-___-x my books aready in my backpack. new pencils&eraser. got the red&black pen in check. even labeled my folder in subjects.
i just hope this school year will be fun!
and hope i can accomplish many task this year.
prolly going to be the best school year ever haha yeeeee. fsho.
UH.i really think i need to set a schedule for my days... i getting out of order since this summer. sleeping at 5 playing combat arms with my bestfriend waking up at 1 or 2. taking naps! no studying just playing. getting lazy.
i need to sort that out.
so UH. week day schedule.

6:00 wake up
6:30 Get ready&breakfast such as banana, cereal, and anything breakfasty yannno?
7:00 let's 출발!
7:00-8:00 sleep in the library or meet with friends
so basically every period. walk my friends to class and be late to mines!
after school.
i think i end at 1?
1:00 Leave.
1:10-3:00 HOMEWORK&study
3:00-5:00 Nap i need to conserve my brain juice after i use it all
5:00-8:00 Do whatever i want.
8:00-10:00 24 fitness!
10:00-??? Do whatever i want!

Basically thats my daily life after summer.
my schedule
1. calc Hansen
2. civics Zylstra
3. Secret only some people Know(; best and favorite period hah!
4. korean hwang
5. Eng Osajima

hit me up if you have similar class yeee?
&let's keep Life Beautiful.

Scariest moment.

i can't explain to you right now
how exactly how i felt.
wowww i am so amazed&scared right now. i would have never thought that could ever happened to me.
wow if you were here with me right now i am shaking my legs so much...
holy fuckk.
just out in the neighborhood at night at 1 to just daydream under the stars and phone with sophia and pray.
all of a sudden this huge mexican guy comes up to me askes me
"do you have any change and cigs"?
i was like no and then just in a blink he swings at me but i dodged it.
and kicked him hard and he fell. i can't beleive i dodge that and kicked him im proud.
but i ran so fast back to my house right after he fell.
even know my heart is beating 1 beat per milisecond.

i just realized how scary the outside world is. i mean like our inner world is like just with our friends, having fun, and family just your private life. really im suprised, i could have died if he had a gun or knife. the outside world is scary. now i believe anything in the world can happen.
that is why your parent's don't let you out so late at night now i understand. i think everyone should thank their parents for that.

Whenever your in a red light and changes in a green just Go and Forget.
reach your destination without looking back.

Can't stop thinking about you.

whyyyyyy.
FUCKSKJHFKAF
First it was whatever
now it's like asdjhfakds
ahahaha Love sucks...

Goals.

So i want to figure out what goals i want to achieve before school starts. So this is the last week of school. im actually pretty happy that school is starts because it's the senior year. also i get to see alot of friend i haven't hung out with during summer! hmm but the goals i want to achieve aren't those become famous&rich ones. it's the ones i get to actually try. so i'd have motivation to stay alert&precise with the last school year im going to attend.
GOALS.
1. Get straight As.
2. Get my License
3. get a JOB.
4. start on my Portfolio right now.
5. college APPS
6. retake SAT's and achieve the 2100
7. Go to korea
8. Get more friends.
9. Get into Kaba
10. Go MORONGO!
11. Tattoo
12. Cut my hair short.
13. Go to every dance.
14. solo performance in rally
15. Party all day every day.
16. Enjoy and live life to the fullest.

hmmm i think thats all. but those i want to achieve before college.
im the gray balloons, i need to shine like the other balloons

Ugly Truth.

was GOOD. it toped GI-JOE thats what i think.
but why i thought it was good is because it's true.
Men do think with their dick than brain.
what hit me hard was.
true love at first sight is all fake.
how do you love somebody you don't even know, but the LOOKS
you know how a girl ask what do you like looks or personality
well personality is true. but when they ask looks OR personality
man hate to admit this. but men go for looks first.
but in the end personality prevails unless your a jerk!

people shouldn't go for love, cause they will suffer so much
thats why you should go for sex, not getting suffer but the pleasure.
Jesus, AMEN to that.

yeah the truth is UGLY.
i agree with that.

tattoos.

i Believe in desperate calls in desperate measures, when called for God, he will answer all your calls.

anyways.
i want a tattoo.
i've always wanted my favorite Bible verses on my back.
I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.
(Psalm 34:4)
O Lord, my strength and my fortress, my refuge in time of distress.
(Jeremiah 16:19)
Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
(Nehemiah 8:10b)
Hm. either one would be fine cause they are so meaningful and powerful.
i don't want a tattoo just for the looks. i want it meaningful and as a purpose.
such as if i sky dived. i would get a tattoo of wings so represents that i flew in the sky HAHA lame but idc.
you know something id have to look at and see a reminence of that momment.
like when i get children and when they are a baby id draw their hands perfect size, perfect picture and have them tattoo that! haha.
UH. maybe the Wife's name(x inserted on my chest.
idk!

and i want on both my shoulders and my right arm.
maybe this october i might get a tattoo since im turning eighteen(=
and many other things that needs to be 18 except smoking haha thats a no no yes?

Bittersweet.

Everything is so uncertain to me now.
i need to take Big Steps instead of little small ones.
i need to start taking action with my body and mind.
i need to start thinking more than i think less.
i need change.
i feel like im running aways from all my problems.
thinking that it'll be alright, i hate it.
i want to stop. and have a go start again.
i need to stop hiding my thoughts and say it straight out.
i come to realize im just afraid what people will say.
it's not needs and wants anymore
its will.
i will change and stop being a weakling and become strong.
my thoughts to people.

jay, im sorry.
hi, i like you.
erin, your AKWARD.
Josh, your cool
Charlie, your funny!.
Nick, your LAME!.
Sam, your cute!
hey, your annoying.
Danny, your crazy!
jane, your NOT fat.
sophia, your nice.
moses, your GANGPEH.
Steven, i want to be like you!
you, your ugly.
andrew, your dota king!
jake, your michusuh.
Darky, your dark!
Big Joe, your chill.
Krystal, your clear.
God, Please Forgive Me.

i probably have more thoughts but this is as far as i go.
i feel like im getting punished for all my sins by God.
but i also feel he's leading me to a better place and getting closer.
you know
i want to be forgiven.
i want to get closer with bestfriends even more.
i want to fall in love again.
i want to be free
i want a RX8 with erin.
i want a tattoo that'll serve purpose for what i have done.
i want ear piercings.
i want reach the top of mount everest with friends.
i want to dance better
i want fix all the problems.
i want someone to praise me for what i have done.
i want get away from everything for a day.
i want to be the very best!(:

you know after today im going to change my bad traits
and live a brand new today. and try to make those wants into will's(=

i feel like im the middle one.x_x
Jay's the first one
Charlie's the Second one.
Danny's third
Sam's fourth
Moses is Fifth
Josh is 6th.
and the last 2 are nick and erin.

i like...

soo young(=
haha really i just had deja vu right now writing something about this...
weird.
UH. so went to ongganae with krystal Sophia and robin.
i wasted 40 dollars of food
it was WORTH IT.
soo UH. after that boba! and then chill infront of my house haha.
you know what i really want
i want to be in korea

staying in america makes me feel homesick.
like there so many things to do in korea
you don't even get carded after 9(; ya know what i mean.
i miss the sweet smell of korea even if it does reek.
the DDOK BOK GI off the streets
the secret hangout place which only me yoonmi and my childhood friends remember!
i miss PO GGI.
i miss the high view of my apartment!
i miss my friends
i miss shooting bibis with all my friends at the apartment windows.
i miss my chicken, i did have a chicken when i was young!
and seriously i love how you go everything and not get lost!
miss the subways and internet cafe.
idk theres so many fun things to do there.
except america soo many rules so many cost!
sighhhhh.

oh well! americas still fun with everyone HAHA :D
i really think if i was in korea still id be a gangpeh and shit -____-x
cause all my child hood friends are no good when i went last winter.
yoonmi you better visit america! :D.

.

pretty fun day.
i met very old friends and NRB!
so krystal came to pick me up at 3 then we went to mcdonald cause i owe her ice cream and COFFEE. cause she beat me at a game.
you know now i think of it i ALWAYS lose when i bet with a girl asdfkja.
and then lets see after mcdonald we went to puente and met with david jane sophia&grace. and then we went to the mall and just hung out.
we WERE about to watch GI JOE but half of them aready watched it -___-x
seriously i want to watch GIJOE so bad righ tnow ____-x
then jake and eric and robin came after and we left to NRB(x
we went to JJ studio at like 8 and stayed there to 10 and we sang so much HAHAHA.
it felt like my first time cause i haven't went to NRB for so Long!
and just ate froyos at yogurtland!
we were sitting on the fence things and sophia fell backwards and grabed me and i fell to but luckly the i saved the froyo instead of saving sophia HAHAH but that was So funny HAHAHAA(= if you read this you made my day!(x
and i noticed that so many korean people go to yogurtland O___O
UH. so haha just came back krystal&grace are over.
and we are so bored and nothing todo!
think we are going to watch a movie yeapp.
fun day(=
and i want to go to the carribeans idk why don't ask! hah.
and seriously what you said yesterday got me thinking so hard irene.
the FAMOUS 5 star restaurant really do give you small portions of food and they are so EXPENSIVE HAHAH OMG smartest thing i've heard all week!
and thers no church tomorrow)=
and danny's comming in the early monring to my house tom... i think hah!
i think i might go to good shepard this week. haven't seen all my friends&old teachers there haha.
today was very productive(x
OH YEAH its thursday! well i don't think anyone went bowling today LOLOL
& wow roller coaster tycooon is so funn no joke.
LOL.
peeeeeeeace.

Meteor Shower.

to put it in one word. AMAZING. never really thought meteor showers were that spectacular but they are haha. Lets see so Krystal Grace and jake came to pick me up at 12 cause they lagged it lol. but in the end was good. we got to vantage pointe in rowland where i used to live. and there was actually ALOT of people there no joke i had to go to my secret hideout place so we can do whatever we want haha.(x then HM. we got blankets and just layed down together and someo of us just disapeared O_O like peter and mia(; tahaha.
and then at like 2 we FINALLY see one. it was so spectacular and then after that i just went inside krystal's car cause it was SUPER cold out side. and just turned on the heater and texted people(:
oh yeah i wished too haha who wouldn't.
but then i knocked out in krystal's car with krystal and we both woke up and it was aready 4! but then it seemed everyone was still there! and we saw 2 HUGE trantulas it was so big. i saw like 3 meteor showers. after 5 we went to drive through at burgerking. got a number 3 large(x andddd all we did was talk and got back home around 6? then my DOOR was locked and i was lke askjdfasdhf cause i didn't want to wake up my parents cause i told them i'd come at 3 so i broke inside my window hah.yeah i was super ninja i went so quiet. and i just knocked out right after i got back in my room and had a WEIRD DREAM about vampires.
i got my blood sucked by june-___- and what was weird is i could like feel something pressing me on my neck that time... maybe it really was a vampire O___O. and then we drove to village with the group and charlie was like freaking out and all of a sudden we stop at this house. and the garage was a bakery... i jack a bread and ate it.
i love dreams when you eat it actually tastes good hahaha.
but yeah and then we stoped at like a big building place and there was a flying monster and then i could fly and it was super weird cause i took out yu gi oh cards and when i summoned them they came to life and then i saved this girl(;
and then i woke up

i just noticed i got a cold from yesterday night!-___-x
Peeeeeeeeace.

what happens.

after reaching a goal. i Don't know, but after reaching to my goal of writing writing 100 post. blogspot is getting pretty pointless for me. For example, its like when you accomplish a pokemon game, what to do after yeah? well i don't know. blogspot is getting pretty boring for me these days. but you know im still going to write on it. think im going to make the goal to 1000 tahaha.

anywho. today/tomorrow is actually the meteor shower&krystal, grace, sophia, annie, mia, jake, mike, alex, and peter are going to pick me up and go to the high point view in vantage point?! at 12? haha pretty AWE.

i have to say if i really do see a meteor shower today. it'll be the first. and haha make a wish? hope it comes true tahaha.

i did nothing today... cause my mom wouldnt let me go out at 12 if i went out this afternoon gayy! so i just stayed home and krystal grace and sophia are coming to my house about now and the rest are going to come at 11:30 and CHOOL BAL to vantage pointe!

peeeeeeeace.

last summer retreat.

was ehhh but after erin and jane came it was good haha.
no. actually it was good in each way and bad in each ways.
good thing was i got closer with God. i was walking ashtrays away from God.
but now im in track. bad thing was ehh... yeap.

i think the most important thing i've learned in retreat.
is get my priorties straight.

i think everyones need to order their priorties straight.
and so many people farted during retreat! haha.

gone through august 7-10th.

today is retreat.
hope itll be great.
malibu here i come(x
peeeeeeeace.
text or call!

scary.

it's kind of scary of the thought of not remembering what you did the night before.
ahhhhhh.

fuck.

sorry i fucked up.
ill do whatever you want me to. i don't mind if you don't forgive me.
but ill do whatever i can to try to fix up everything.

sorry
forgive me.

To sum the day.

total Wasted.
and deceiving...












you disapoint me
















whats the point in keeping promises when your gonna break them.
bye.

Acapulso.

such a great mexican grill. ordered the Coastal Combo!
pretty pretty good you know. UH. so sleptover at nicks
went to egames. then acapulso and scary movie was my day.
i realized. this week is super chill(=
and yeah i have loads of bad luck...
but out of it i get atleast one goodluck.
haha sooo i guess its retreat this week.
i know someones not going to come... gayy
HM. malibu? tahaha. going to love it(=
clean beach clean chicks clean food?!
jkjkjk
but yeah come to retreat you guys! PEEEEEEACE.

Happy Birthday Nick.

so UH. when did we meet? around 6th grade.
but that wasnt actually a greeting. we were just in the same math class
and you thought i was some cool gangster fob keed. which i am(x
but yeee haha and you were some pokemon card collector tahaha.
anywho i don't even know how we met
your seventeen now, you should do whatever crap you want. cause your not going to go to jail for another 1year unlike me! WHOS TURNING 18 SOOON-____-X
how gay.
but when i turn 8ighteen Morongo fersure. and you could just WATCH me get the 777. yee
anywho happy birthday. again
hope your wish came true
and things will go great.

anyways back to nicks party thing
so went to janes house at 10am with erin.
spent like 3 hours making a poster and went to starbucks and said my name is BENJAMIN tahaha. i always say a fake name when ever they ask you for your name
you know why? cause i am a undercover secret agent.

or maybe im a terriost spy
or maybe a kid born in korea and came to america on a student visa.
yeahh. im most likey the 1st choice(=

but yeahh it was so hot we went for a swim. party?!
talk, chilled, and fun?! yess most def.

except i fell asleep for like an hour.
man can't wait for wednesday
and this friday? caues its retreat.
hope everything will go alright

what else....
nothing i want to be at korea
so i can see KIMYOONMI(=
haha wow she emailed me cause she asked my uncle for my email.
and i haven't talk to her since like elementry school in korea!
she's graduated -___-x but im becoming a senior and im older than her...
thats one thing moving to america!!!!...
and i started to talk to her alot now. except i suck at typing korean so she always get mad at me for typing slow...
even though she can understand english. HAHA but its pretty funny. and ive been talking to more of my childhood friends caues of her tahaha.

annd so... i want to go back to korea!...
thats all and happy birthday again tahaha.
peeeeeeeace.

6 bbq in a row?!

my great god -___-x
well today i had my 5th bbq party...
and tomorrow another one!
im getting pretty sick of bbq...
and happy birthday nick tomorrow(x
we prepared you a suprise tahaha.
UH. so yeahh
mann so many messed up stuff going on these days-____-x
and being involved and stuff just SUCKS.

ㅘㅓㅁ농리ㅏ머라ㅓ뫄3로7ㅑ로92ㅑ로92ㅗ래92ㅙ아ㅓㅣㄹ함ㄴㅍ ㅠㅏㅓㅣㅣㅏ류마ㅓ라맘넝ㄹ미ㅏㅓㅣㅑㅕ4ㅣㅑ로먈'ㅁㅇㄴ란ㅁ;,....ㅁㅇ널미ㅏ너ㅗㅇㅎ만옿ㅁ;ㅏㅇ호;ㅁ닝호;민옿;민옿;미ㅏㄴ오몰;ㅁ나ㅣㄴㅇ로92ㅔㅁ로ㅔ9ㅂ메로ㅔ9ㅕㄹ3ㅔㅕ239게9혀렒ㄹ9메7ㅕ2ㅗ레9ㅗ2레928레923레923ㅔ9초ㅛㅔ98ㅗ에ㅗ앰;ㅗㅇ체9매8오ㅔ9모ㅔ9매초렘92ㅗ레98ㅁ2ㅗ레98ㅁ2ㅔㅛ레0ㅁ8렘29ㅛㅁ0ㅔ28ㄻ02ㅔ8ㄻ028ㅛㅁ료ㅔㅁ2료ㅔ2ㅛㅗ.

mmmmm yeap. hahaha

you know even though i have never smoked before.
out of curiousity, i want to try it! cause everyone says it feels good...-___-x
im pretty sure everyones wants to try it... but they just don't like me!(=
but i have too keep my promise with everyone else and GOD. so too bad guys..
but im just showing how stressed i am right now...
but if you really think of it smoking isn't a sin.
it's only a sin because your breaking the law of smoking at a younger age then said.
so when you hit 18 means smoking isn't a sin.

but even though the stress this week has been pretty chill.
took this from krystalkimmm(=
friends=fun hanging out=orgasm HAHA so Friends hanging out=fun orgasm HAHAH(x
thats so true in a really wierd way.

bbq was fun darkys party was fun. just everything beens going good for me seriously id say this has been my best summer but there more(x
but it has also been so depressing and messed up.
friends fighting... so wtf yeaah.
sighhh but you know its like without darkness there is no light! that was lame but hey! i tried.
and my feelings? ahhhh whatever. im aready happy without it hahaha.
and retreat?
maybe just like what julie said. something extraordinary may happen.
i feel like i should go.
sorry guys but i think you guys should come too.
but its not for me to have fun.
i've been doing so many sins.
been cussing alot lately
been not listening to my parents
been fighting alot well not even one but with my family
been breaking rules(;
i need to repent and i think retreat will help my life to a better cause.
and plus its for God. i want to know him more.
and i DO believe something extraordinary will happen
so come'on peeps!

you know just one last thing
Good bye.

haha alrighty peeeeeeeeace.